Archive for March, 2015


Posted: March 23, 2015 in Uncategorized


Have you ever walked into the mall to buy an empty bottle of coke? So what’s the big hype about the “coke bottle” figure that pop culture is eagerly selling these days?

From music videos to movie screens, red carpet parades and all that, one is readily greeted with the view of a woman with enormous body curves being celebrated as the ideal woman or at least, what she should look like. This trend has seen a huge number of women engage in surgical procedures to increase their body frame and curves, just so they can meet up to this requirement of being today’s woman.

Worse than this display of inferiority complexes, is the fast spreading deception that your body frame as a woman is what earns or keeps your man. Again I ask who goes to the mall just to buy an empty coke bottle? These days’ people opt for cans or plastics as well as bottles but in spite of the difference in preference, they all want coke! The role of the package is simply to attract you to the content so it’s folly to spend your capital on the package when you don’t have content.

What happens when you buy an item only to discover that what is inside isn’t what was portrayed on the pack? You feel cheated. You are most likely to ask for a refund from the seller or discard the item in rage and anger. How much more when you discover that the pack is empty? The consequences are devastating as shown by the ever increasing rate of divorce and single motherhood.

Now more than ever, we see women fill themselves up with implants. Still, the stats aren’t in their favour as more and more marriages are hitting rock bottom while even more ladies end up being unmarried single parents. Where are the men? Why aren’t they staying? The curves are getting wider and wider while at the same pace, commitment is getting thinner and thinner. What does that tell you?  The booty might get him but it sure won’t keep him; content is absolute while packaging is relative. Figure is worthless without content just as a coke bottle is without the coke in it.

I think it’s about time we tell ourselves the truth and place emphasis on what is most essential; CONTENT DEVELOPMENT. Develop and build your content first before you start thinking about packaging. If Coca Cola had spent their business career focusing on the shape of the bottle instead of the coke itself, would you even use it as a reference point for your body frame today? Think about it!

So I carried out a quick survey on my BBM where I asked some guys “What are the top 5 attributes you seek when you’re looking to date a woman?”

Below are their responses

  1. Aiken: In no particular order her hair, her fashion sense, her height, level of intelligence and her love for God.
  2. Kaybee: Beauty (in & out), character, education (enlightenment & intelligence), her background and her level of contentment.
  3. Ace Ibrahim: Her faith, character, looks, family and orientation.
  4. Monlee: Godliness, hard work & focus, healthy relationships, self-care and her ability to be taught.
  5. Foursyte: Intelligence, beauty, God fearing, hard work and understanding.
  6. Bidemi: Understanding, hardworking, supportive (not being overly dependent & able to support you in all aspects), God fearing and same vision (& complimentary efforts).
  7. DjEnersty: God fearing, supportive, beautiful and independent.
  8. eazY: In no particular order she must have a great music taste and be musically gifted, be in love with Jesus, beautiful and adorable, funny.
  9. Demola: She has to be expressive and fun to be with, not self-centred, kind, empathetic and prayerful.
  10. Lutor: Honors God’s word, intelligent, funny, confident and beautiful.
  11. Mac D: God fearing, learning spirit, beautiful, character/attitude and her ability to cook.
  12. Samson: Her understanding of life & its realities, attitude, how motherly she is (home management), not boring and spiritual.
  13. Gold: Godly, knowledgeable in entertainment/fashion, love for children, teachable, fluency in English & at least one local dialect.
  14. Greatman: Beautiful, intelligent, hard work, visionary and a love for God.
  15. Shola: loves God, common purpose, intelligent/smart, ability to cook & love for hip-hop and looks/body.

Haven heard from the men, let’s do a little calculation. On an average, the attributes they seek are as follows:

  1. Godly
  2. Intelligence
  3. Looks
  4. Character
  5. Hardworking

Assuming your coke bottle physique is what was referred to as “looks”, if that’s all you’ve got. 1/5 isn’t known to be a pass mark is it? Let’s build ourselves for the better.

NB: This article does not exclude the aspect that men are said to be made of beards and abs which have also seen a stereotypic look at the modern man. It does however aim that while appearance is needful, it shouldn’t be the primary reason why anyone should go into a relationship whether male or female. Also, I’m not in any way suggesting that the increasing rate of failed marriages or single motherhood is entirely the fault of the female gender as that will be irrational and insensitive given that men share the same amount of responsibility in seeing a marriage work as do the women.

To have a perfect body frame without good character is nothing more than having a skull with no brain. – Kruseaphix.


Posted: March 13, 2015 in Uncategorized


It’s amazing that via death the perfection of life and its beauty is revealed! (An excerpt from a poem of mine ‘Amazing’)

Haven given much thought to life, I discovered a simple truth, that we can never truly appreciate life without the consciousness of death. Given all the sadness and hurt that is often associated with death, there’s also this realization it brings along with it: everything around us is temporary; from money to relationships, pleasure, pain, success, failure and everything you can think about. Once this reality dawns on you, it is bound to initiate either of these two types of responses: that life in itself is meaningless since it cannot be held onto, and as such you denature every atom of essence you had once ascribed to it, leading to a carefree approach to all that surrounds you, OR that life should be maximized at every turn because there’s no guarantee of a second chance, which prompts you to ascribe more value to life, leading to a careful approach to all that surrounds you. Of these two responses, one causes you to undermine the fundamentals of life like love and relationships and the other causes you to highly esteem them. One leads to a passive approach to life; the other ignites a proactive response. With one, you simply live to die and with the other, you die to live. Either ways, death throws a coin to your face and the side you choose to focus on is totally dependent on you.

Too many people spend their last moments in retrospect; regretting certain decisions they made; wishing they had taken certain steps they avoided; hoping for a chance to right some of their wrongs or at least attempt to; disgusted at the fact that they have given their all to one part of their life only to realize that, that part of them wasn’t the most important. At the harvest, that’s when the wheat are separated from the tares and how it will hurt to discover that you have spent your time, energy and resources nurturing weeds instead of the good seeds. For these people, the reality of death struck them at a moment too late. They were so busy trying to live whilst numb to the sure cold embrace of death, they ran without keeping the end in perspective and as a result of which, the race was vague; They chased everything but caught little or nothing. ‘For where there’s no vision, the people are without restraint.’

But this does not have to be you. Yes experience is a good teacher but it doesn’t have to be yours. Here’s an opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others at no cost at all. If you will just take a moment to go through the following exercises, I assure you, your approach to life and your life in itself will never remain the same. By investing the next couple of minutes, you are sure to save a whole lifetime.


(Separating the wheat from the tares.)


  1. Write down the five things that mean the most to you in life.
  2. On a scale of 1-10, how much is your input on them (By this I mean your time, energy and resources)
  3. Write down five things you want to be remembered for by the following sets of people:
  • Your parents (if they are still alive)
  • Your child/children
  • Your spouse
  • Your friends
  • Your Church/Religious association
  • Your colleagues
  • Your country

4. If you die now, will your world (the above stated sets of people) we better off or ruined without you?
5. If indeed there are such places as heaven and hell, if you pass away at this moment, where are you headed?

NB: if you aren’t married or you are without a child, answer questions 3 i & ii regardless for it will help you prepare for their coming. Also, be sure to write down your answers in a journal or in a choice book of yours and not on a random sheet of paper; that way, you can easily go back to them when the need arises. It is important that you keep them ever before you. If you can, stick them with a sticker pad or with a pin on your bed-head, close to your dressing mirror or on the door of your room; that way you will never forget to run by them. Given that your priorities can be subject to change, if there arise such changes, be sure to modify them in the journal or book wherein the previous ones were written.

Majority of the questions are relationship-centered because from my observation, that is the core of our existence on earth and by building healthy relationships, you are in turn building a healthy life.

“It is vanity to spend your whole life living for your loved ones without spending as much time living with them.” – Kruseaphix